Skip to main content

feelings of a grown up child

Lately I have been feeling horrible. I feel sad. Upset. Depressed. 

I think part of it is because I have had some family here in the last two weeks and they leave me. First the Davis family. We had so much fun. I was the happiest girl around.

 Then they left. 

Then the Skillmans (my second parents) stopped by for the day. We went to PCC and had a blast.  

Then they left. 

I feel left behind. 

It's not at all their fault, that's just how it feels. 

I miss family. Friends. I miss Mesquite. (as silly as that sounds). I am forever grateful for them though. That they would spend their time with me. 

Then the other thing making me feel horrible...

Some one asked me how I was doing. I have never been one of those people to lie and say "great" when I'm not feeling it. So I said "ticked and upset". 

He then proceeded to ask "What in the world does Sarah have to be upset about? You don't have two kids (like him), you don't go to school, you don't have a job. Your life is easy". 

For all the women who are reading this, you know that is the most WRONG thing you could possibly say to a "ticked off" woman. 

Just because I don't have kids, does that mean I can't be stressed out about things? Or upset about situations in my life? Are you kidding? 

On one hand, this made me furious. I had some very vulgar things to say back and if it weren't for my friend who stepped in, these remarks would've come out at him. 

Then on the other hand this made me feel sick. Who does that? Who is that insensitive? I have never met some one who is truly that horrible. So thanks to him, I feel worse as ever. 

 I want to get one thing straight, I am not posting this so you would feel bad for me. I am simply posting this because you NEVER know what goes on behind closed doors. We need to always be careful of what we say to others.



  1. Sarah I love you! It must feel lonely over there. I'm sorry everyone keeps leaving you behind. It must be hard being away from family and friends. But you are an awesome person and so strong. I know you will try to make the best of it. I only wish I was there to give you a big hug!

    Keep your chin up! Love you lots
    Jessica (Thurston) Johnson

  2. Apparently some people my not have the close relationship with their family... Family is what it's all about, and you know that, that's why it's so hard, Sure your with the Love of your life... but the rest of them are so far away.
    Everyone is intitled to have a bad day even a week, it's just wired to think you may have one of those... Your always such a ball of fun.
    Hang in there, this time will pass, and new ones will begin.

  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  4. Oh Sarah I'm so sorry. I know it's hard to be in a new place and feel lonely. I felt that way when I first got married and moved to Mesquite and my family was still in Chicago. It is very hard and no one should judge another's situation. We have have personal growth and challenges that we need to overcome. This is probably one of yours. Pray and ask for guidance in what you should be doing. Maybe there is a purpose for you to fulfill that you haven't realized yet. Smile, I love ya!

  5. Sar Bear,
    You can't possibly understand how proud I am of you. You have grown more in that last 7 months than in your whole life. Growing is hard, it hurts, it stretches us. In those times when you feel lost and alone, go to the Temple and just take in the feeling that is found there. Don't ever forget that the Atonement covered sadness, loneliness, and every kind of sorrow.
    You love your family almost as much as we love you:) I heard a quote a couple days ago that said, "grief is the price we pay for love". So that means that if we love, we cannot escape grief.
    I think anyone who has ever been separated from the people they love understands what you are going through and it doesn't matter if you are on a beautiful island or in the middle of the desert! The scenery doesn't matter, it's the people and relationships that matter.
    I know that you and Chris are wonderful together and take good care of each other but there will always be a silent wish to have ALL of your loved ones together, or at least within a days drive.
    I know you've been a good friend and listener to a lot of people out there but sometimes us "listeners" need to be heard too.
    Count your blessing (like Cora said) and do your best to live in the moment. Find happiness in where you are in life because before you know it, it will change. I'll love you forever!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

24 weeks (December 2017)

It's been awhile.
Like over a year since I last posted something here. I figured it was about time to update everyone. I announced that we were expecting a couple months ago and then left it at that. And several dear friends are asking for updates. And a lot is happening. 
So the quick (maybe not so quick) update is.. all is well! 

1. We're pregnant! (In case you didn't know). I am currently 24 weeks along with our miracle baby girl (Lucy)! We have had about 20ish ultrasounds and too many hours sitting in a waiting room to count. Being high risk is no joke. But I'm not complaining because we get to see our wiggly little girl almost every week!  When we first found out we were expecting (which is a whole post on it's own) we were given the option of genetic testing. After praying and fasting about this we decided to opt out. The test was a CVS (Chorionic villus sampling) where a needle would be inserted into to placenta to test the fluid and baby's DNA and that …

Charlotte May Hendrickson June 5, 2015

I'm going to start by saying I'm on heavy doses of Lortab and Tylenol. I'm seriously having a hard time making complete sentences but I want this to be out so you know what happened. From the beginning of this journey, Chris and I have felt like this has been such a "team" trial. We've had so much support and so many prayers offered on our behalf and that it's such a devastation to everyone that this happened. You are my team and I want you to be in on everything.

I honestly can't believe I'm sitting down at the computer and starting to write this out, again. Trying to explain what just happened, again. Trying to find the words to describe accurately how I feel. So here's my best.

Thursday, June 4, 2015
I had felt her move very gently only three times on Wednesday so when I woke up on Thursday I went straight for the sugary cereal in hopes that would wake Charlotte up and get her moving. I ate and waited. I grabbed a cold water, drank half and …

Two, Four + Six years

Today is kinda a big day. Everything is hitting today. Our sweet Conor would have been two years old a week ago, Owen turned four and in a couple weeks Chris and I have been married for six years. That's a lot of anniversaries. Some great to remember and celebrate and some not. Everybody has those.

Our little buddy Conor would be TWO! See that muffin top down there? That's Conor not Cafe Rio, well maybe a little of both. Conor leaves some strange memories. Although we lost him, his soul, his body, I don't miss him. It that terrible or what?

After his early surprise delivery I was shocked, there's no doubt about that, but I almost immediately felt like he was a big, grown, man taking care of me. Owen didn't realize what was happening, well none of us did. He didn't ask about him everyday, he was just too young to understand. It just didn't seem like the end of the world. Everyone can handle a certain amount of pain and heartbreak right? Compared to Charlotte…