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feelings of a grown up child

Lately I have been feeling horrible. I feel sad. Upset. Depressed. 

I think part of it is because I have had some family here in the last two weeks and they leave me. First the Davis family. We had so much fun. I was the happiest girl around.

 Then they left. 

Then the Skillmans (my second parents) stopped by for the day. We went to PCC and had a blast.  

Then they left. 

I feel left behind. 

It's not at all their fault, that's just how it feels. 

I miss family. Friends. I miss Mesquite. (as silly as that sounds). I am forever grateful for them though. That they would spend their time with me. 

Then the other thing making me feel horrible...

Some one asked me how I was doing. I have never been one of those people to lie and say "great" when I'm not feeling it. So I said "ticked and upset". 

He then proceeded to ask "What in the world does Sarah have to be upset about? You don't have two kids (like him), you don't go to school, you don't have a job. Your life is easy". 

For all the women who are reading this, you know that is the most WRONG thing you could possibly say to a "ticked off" woman. 

Just because I don't have kids, does that mean I can't be stressed out about things? Or upset about situations in my life? Are you kidding? 

On one hand, this made me furious. I had some very vulgar things to say back and if it weren't for my friend who stepped in, these remarks would've come out at him. 

Then on the other hand this made me feel sick. Who does that? Who is that insensitive? I have never met some one who is truly that horrible. So thanks to him, I feel worse as ever. 

 I want to get one thing straight, I am not posting this so you would feel bad for me. I am simply posting this because you NEVER know what goes on behind closed doors. We need to always be careful of what we say to others.

Sarah

Comments

  1. Sarah I love you! It must feel lonely over there. I'm sorry everyone keeps leaving you behind. It must be hard being away from family and friends. But you are an awesome person and so strong. I know you will try to make the best of it. I only wish I was there to give you a big hug!

    Keep your chin up! Love you lots
    Jessica (Thurston) Johnson

    ReplyDelete
  2. Apparently some people my not have the close relationship with their family... Family is what it's all about, and you know that, that's why it's so hard, Sure your with the Love of your life... but the rest of them are so far away.
    Everyone is intitled to have a bad day even a week, it's just wired to think you may have one of those... Your always such a ball of fun.
    Hang in there, this time will pass, and new ones will begin.

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    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh Sarah I'm so sorry. I know it's hard to be in a new place and feel lonely. I felt that way when I first got married and moved to Mesquite and my family was still in Chicago. It is very hard and no one should judge another's situation. We have have personal growth and challenges that we need to overcome. This is probably one of yours. Pray and ask for guidance in what you should be doing. Maybe there is a purpose for you to fulfill that you haven't realized yet. Smile, I love ya!

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  5. Sar Bear,
    You can't possibly understand how proud I am of you. You have grown more in that last 7 months than in your whole life. Growing is hard, it hurts, it stretches us. In those times when you feel lost and alone, go to the Temple and just take in the feeling that is found there. Don't ever forget that the Atonement covered sadness, loneliness, and every kind of sorrow.
    You love your family almost as much as we love you:) I heard a quote a couple days ago that said, "grief is the price we pay for love". So that means that if we love, we cannot escape grief.
    I think anyone who has ever been separated from the people they love understands what you are going through and it doesn't matter if you are on a beautiful island or in the middle of the desert! The scenery doesn't matter, it's the people and relationships that matter.
    I know that you and Chris are wonderful together and take good care of each other but there will always be a silent wish to have ALL of your loved ones together, or at least within a days drive.
    I know you've been a good friend and listener to a lot of people out there but sometimes us "listeners" need to be heard too.
    Count your blessing (like Cora said) and do your best to live in the moment. Find happiness in where you are in life because before you know it, it will change. I'll love you forever!

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