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Showing posts from September, 2014

Conor 2

I have a really beautiful post about all of the blessings and tender mercies given through this hell like trial that I have been wanting to post. But I just can't. That's not how I feel this week.

I was told many times that the grieving process isn't a straight line. It doesn't flow easily from one stage to the next. I was told that some days I would be okay and others I would want to die. I would want to curl up in a ball and cry. I kind of figured that but I have never had to deal with this kind of grief before. They were right.

At times I feel truly okay with what happened. I don't agree with it or like it and Heaven knows I never will but I feel like I can understand. I know he is in a better place.

And then there are weeks like this. I hate it. Who cares that he is "in a better place?" I don't. I want him here. NOW. I hate that everyone around me is pregnant or just had beautiful babies. I should be further along than most of my friends. It isn&…

A little update

I think the last thing I posted anywhere was about Conor. The few weeks after him were miserable. (I have a post on that coming). But we are now on six weeks and we are doing well.

First thing, we moved out!!!!!!! I am so grateful my parents let us stay that long but holy crap it was time. We got a two bedroom apartment in Orem (right by Target:)) that we just love. It has it's own washer and dryer, a big bathroom, a pretty kitchen and a playground right in front of our place. I have been looking for over a year now but seriously looking for a good six months. There was nothing. Nothing that we could afford anyway. About a week after Conor died, I found this one and it was the biggest blessing. The price was lower than what we were looking at and a lot bigger. It was almost unbelievable but I called and she said she would hold it for me until we looked at it. As soon as we pulled up, I knew it was the one. We are soo happy and soo close to Target!

These are the-chris-is-mad-becaus…