Owen and I were looking at old pictures and videos this morning. I really don't appreciate how fast my baby has grown up. Although he is the best ever right now, I miss him being little(r). My theory is that I wouldn't miss him being little so much if I had another baby to occupy myself with. Maybe I would, I don't know. Either way, I really hate it.
We went shoe shopping for him a few weeks ago and I found him some shoes. I have come to love Converse. They are a bit pricey but they last forever and I can wash them over and over and they still hold up. Anyway, as we walked past my size in shoes Owen saw a pair of Converse and said "MOM!! Look, just like me! Let's match!". I felt like my heart was going to explode. I needed the shoes, I just had to "match" him. I knew this was probably going to be the first and last time he would want to match me. So I got them and we have received several comments on them.
I guess my point to this post is about our children. Now, given that I only have a three year old, I am not claiming to know everything or really anything at all. Except that our families are forever. Our babies are meant for us. Our babies and children make us who we are. If you had known me three years ago, you would have never guessed that I liked kids at all. That was my perspective then. And this is it now, that families are forever and families are important. Sometimes families are hard to make, like really, really hard to make.
I loved that this last General Conference seemed to be all about the family. Whenever I hear the prophet and apostles talk about families, I have a sense of pride in mine. I don't feel sad or guilty that I have not been able to keep my family here on Earth. I feel grateful that Conor is just as much a part of this family as Owen is. And that Charlotte, whatever the outcome be, is part of our family too.
While looking a videos I found this one- This is how we told my family that we were expecting Charlotte. (Please excuse my very "full" face. I think at that point I had gained about 10 pounds after we lost Conor)
I told them I needed a family picture for my brother Jeff who is on a mission in Paraguay. But we tricked them.
Also- We had an appointment for Charlotte again on Monday. She looks good. Her liver has stayed where is should and Dr. Gainer took some measurements of her lungs and her right lung looks okay. I don't really get it because it's all in ratios' but the number needs to be above a 1.4 and it's a 2. And that is good enough to do the surgery with a good outcome. So GOOD news!
At 30 weeks we may need an MRI, she said she doesn't want to put me in the machine if she doesn't have to. But if we do that will give a better look at her lungs. Then only six short weeks later we start talking about an induction. By 30 weeks I will be measured and looked at weekly so she will know if I need to be induced. I'm 25 weeks now, so really, that's SO close. Five more weeks til 30 and then six weeks until I am okay to have her. AHH! It's getting scary now.