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Showing posts from September, 2015

Three months

Its been exactly three months and five days since we had last held our little girl in our arms.

Though you see me at the grocery store, church, the park and I look fine, I'm not. This little girl left me with the biggest, deepest scar. My entire soul longs for her. I think about her at the grocery store. I think about her at church and at the park. While I'm putting my makeup on after a morning shower, while I'm painting my chairs, while I'm making salsa, while I'm picking out shoes for Owen, while I'm washing dishes, while I'm weeding. There isn't a time I don't think about her.

 I think about what people think when they see me and my one kid at the store and I can almost guarantee you they are wondering why I only have one.. I wish she was with me. I wish I looked like everyone else here, with armfuls of healthy babies.

I want her in the backseat of my car screaming her little lungs out. I want to put her in her stroller and have everyone comment …

S.O.S. Owen

Because I'm already up, I figured I'd write all of my very angry feelings out and hope that one of you has an idea how to help. He woke up at 1:30 demanding he isn't tired and he needs to sleep on the couch, we are just now nearing 4 am and he has been quiet for about ten minutes. What was he doing all this time? Yelling, whining, arguing, going potty (twice), using the classic "moooooooommmm', a hundred times, "I'm not tired" he says. Does he do this every night? Funny you should ask, only since he was about.. hmmm born.

Owen is horrible. And I mean that in the most loving, affectionate way. He can be the sweetest, cutest funniest, most awesome and happy little guy but can so quickly turn into the devil himself.

I don't want to hear "He's three, that's what they do". If you haven't noticed by now, Owen isn't your average three year old. He is absolutely amazing and awful all within the same minute. Won't sleep, thro…