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Showing posts from June, 2016

1 Year

It's officially been an entire year since I last held my chunky baby. Some days are doable and some are as if we lost her yesterday. The mysterious thing about grief is comes in waves. Sometimes just small tidal waves brushing the shore full of heartache and sometimes 40 foot waves of rage, anger and depression. You never know which is coming and when. Sometimes it comes from a small argument with a sister and quickly spirals into grief.. arguments are rarely ever about what it started as. I had a break down the other day, I can't even remember what sparked it but it was harsh. It was brutal. I've come to realize that I will grieve as long as I live. That as long as I miss her and as long as I love her I will grieve.






We want her so badly and my mind can't seem to stop from thinking that. I know I can't have her here, but that's all I think about. When I look at my friends babies, at dinner, at the movies, I want her there with us. She would be the same age as t…